It’s A New day, Right?

Yes, it is a new day!  Do you ever feel like, “will this day end” or “it’s still morning”?! Confused smile  I know you are trying so hard to not raise your hand like myself. High five  I have gone through this myself numerous times, these past few weeks in fact. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_DKWlrA24k

That is my ‘go to’ HAPPY SONG!!

This song cheers me up no matter what. I have had tears of love and joy for the beauty of life.

So know that no matter what you are going through and how long the day is, your class at school, even your child’s band or orchestra program, I think you get it. All things work out in the end.

 

I have been struggling with my health issues. I have finally have a way to fix some of it. But must be patient and wait. I know this too shall pass and be manageable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyzBOH24oZA

So here is a song for encouragement!

KEEP HOLDING ON MY FRIENDS!!

Red heartRed heartRed heartRed heart

How Are You Being Socially Aware In Today’s World?

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It seems that we have gone off the band wagon of being more conscious of what we do, when we do it, and what have you.

THINK ABOUT IT!!

When will we begin to accept people for who they are? Each of us is a unique individual. What an awesome gift that it is! I believe that God created us as “equal” human beings and also as individuals. So, what is my point?? I don't know smile

 

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The point is to be “aware” of what is going on around us so much better. We tend to call things, stupid, dumb, and many other choice words. Is this what we want to teach our children? Is this what we want to be as educators? What about someone in the medical field, social services, etc? Then there is your basic everyday life of going to the grocery store, department stores, and gas stations as such. So do we let the person in line in front of us who have just a couple items vs our cart so full it is overflowing? Do you see someone coming out the door after you and you just let it go where it can hit them or something? No, we need to be aware.

 

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Being “SOCIALLY AWARE” is from many areas. It is what is basically surrounding you. If you are at work, with your family, or at school you pay attention to what someone said. To me just your basic common sense. I just have noticed that this world I am living in has removed itself from the Good Samaritan Act. It is not just helping someone who fell, it is about the recovery from the fall.

ONCE AGAIN–

THINK ABOUT THIS!!

This is not that hard to be honest. Be kind, loving, nice, use your manners. Honestly weren’t we taught this when we were all 2?

That is basically all I felt like sharing with you on this subject. Oh no worries, I’ll be back with more my dear friend’s and blogger’s!

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Academia, Love Me Back

TIFFANY MARTÍNEZ

My name is Tiffany Martínez. As a McNair Fellow and student scholar, I’ve presented at national conferences in San Francisco, San Diego, and Miami. I have crafted a critical reflection piece that was published in a peer-reviewed journal managed by the Pell Institute for the Study of Higher Education and Council for Opportunity in Education. I have consistently juggled at least two jobs and maintained the status of a full-time student and Dean’s list recipient since my first year at Suffolk University. I have used this past summer to supervise a teen girls empower program and craft a thirty page intensive research project funded by the federal government. As a first generation college student, first generation U.S. citizen, and aspiring professor I have confronted a number of obstacles in order to earn every accomplishment and award I have accumulated. In the face of struggle, I have persevered and continuously produced…

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Aromas

I have happened to notice for myself, that is– the beautiful smell of life helps me want to live it! Each season we have these amazing scents of candles that blend inside our souls that just make us feel real. It makes me feel ALIVE! Even indoor/outdoor cooking and baking has that same effect for me.

I have suffered anxiety and depression for many years. For me when summer hits, the smell of the grills, making a nice fresh salad, windows open, and a fresh lightly scented candle make me feel out of the dumps. It makes me feel that this is my life and I am allowed to enjoy it and be happy. I no longer need to punish myself to hide inside from all my mistakes forever!

I would love to theorize that scents/aromas could help those with depression, anxiety, and other situations. It brings me happiness. It may not cure me in one second. But think about it, is there a perfume smell, candle, meal, and/or dessert that makes you feel all good and comfy inside? I enjoy the smell of a home cooked meal over takeout. I love when a turkey is in the oven. These things make a difference for me. I am allowing them to make me happy rather than sad.

This is short and sweet with the fact to enjoy life! I am doing the best I can while I am here! God Bless!

Giving Up, No Way Now!!

Well, I basically got my rear end handed on a platter just moments ago on Facebook. I was looking through my memories this evening and I came across “I Was Dying”. I needed this reminder tonight. I was in my self-pity mood about a half hour before. Let me run you through my day of events. How a great day went to negative feelings and then to this.

First I was so NOT in the mood for another brain MRI. Here we go again is all I thought. I was tired and just not feeling it. I was somewhat worried yesterday but I said my prayers and that was that. Simple. No, not for someone like me. I have had anxiety where I just do not want to go anywhere, talk to people, touch doors, or just about anything. So sometimes this I’ve allowed to get in my way of “living life”. I ended up texting a good friend to drive me instead of myself driving. I needed the accountability partly to get this one hour MRI done plus chat with a friend I have not chatted with in a while. It actually turned out great! The open MRI room was gorgeous. I felt like I was on a vacation just upon entering. I think the idea is to release the anxiety and stress patients generally feel. Kudos to Rush-Copley Imaging Center in Naperville!!

Part One of my day complete.

Next onto waiting for AT&T to fix my internet. I ended up becoming a new internet customer of theirs. I found a terrific deal and I received my box to hook it up in the mail yesterday. Well, things were not connecting well. Low and behold when the tech got here he found out it had to do with how the order was placed. They thought it was just one house. We live in a house that is split in half. So, I apologized because I could have clarified my info upon ordering and when I called to see what to do upon setting the new equipment. AT&T were extremely awesome! They communicated with me when they were coming via text and email. Excellent customer service as well.

Sometimes in life we complain about customer service but was there something we could have done to communicate things better on our end. In life I have had to learn this before jumping the gun numerous times.

New internet set up and ready to roll.

I did receive news I actually expected personally. But my heart was kind of broken. I began to send a text message to someone and I said to him, I quit. I was so upset. I had my feelings, I expressed them, and I did not do anything else. Oh wait, yes I did I wallowed in my own self pity as usual. Why was I so darn upset over this? Because in the back of my head, my heart, and my soul I was hoping for a “YES”. But I was not prepared and I did not really put much effort into it this year. I just wanted to try to wish for the stars. Hmmmm, reality bites sometimes doesn’t it?

Here’s what put me into perspective shortly after I said my prayer. I was looking on Facebook at my memories and up came this photo that probably has been shared for who knows how long on my page. It is titled, “I Was Dying”. In a way “I Was Dying” to be recognized for something rather than just living it out. It is not about recognition in life. It is about how we see the big picture and not do things to ACT/SHOW we are better than someone when we really are not.

I do believe though you also need to be careful about falsifying someone’s talents, gifts, and knack for skills and abilities. You never ever should send someone on a wild goose chase if it is not worth it. Maybe direct them in a better path positively.

So I do feel better but I feel that I did not give my “A” game and that is my fault. I accept the responsibility. Oh being a grown up at 46 can be so complicated and over dramatic sometimes. Oh well!

I am truly grateful for this quick lesson God reminded me of. I hope you all of a “FABULOUS FRIDAY”!!

 

Petey

Well, we are getting our new kitten fixed on Monday morning, finally! No if’s and’s or but’s about it! This so needs to be done. You can only imagine what he is like terrorizing my sane adult female, sweet, kind, and gentle Rain. This little guy is a terror. I know he means no harm, right?

Isn’t that what they all say at first?! Oh Lord help me!

So, my boyfriend has been taking this “fixing of Petey” rather personal. As if it is him. It is not him!

It’s a cat people, a kitten rather! He is adorable I will give you that. Why do you think I went to go get him when it was posted.

“Cat needs home, come get now!” Well it was said in different terms but you get the point. Yes I am a sucker! I know, fool me once, fool me twice thing. And yes I did try to help out a dog. He was sweet and innocent but my apartment at the time was just too small. So, I brought this adorable kitten home. No I did not prepare well. You would think a 46-year-old woman would know better. Hey, I never said I was a genius now, did I?

So, my dear cat Rain is just not liking him at all. She is an adult and he is a kitten full of play. She is set in her ways, kinda like me! So you could imagine the boyfriend coming home to this lovely sight. And of course he must deal with me daily. Sorry, you knew what you got into when ya met me!

Petey has been attacking my sweet precious Rain. It gets annoying. But his face and eyes make him look so darn innocent! Just like when your pets and children sleep and you think, “hey they could do no harm.” Ha! Well, the boyfriend came home from work last night and said, “he is getting fixed, I give in.” Of course he will not go to drop him off early in the morning or pick him up at the end of the day. He just can’t imagine doing that to someone.

Once again people, it is just a kitten. And I know a sweet little guy who loves to sleep next to you on his pillow at night. I get it. But he will be fine and less “cat drama” on the home front. It will work out in the end.

 

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It’s Been Five Years

Today is dedicated to my mom.

The Adventures of Kathy

Wow! Time really flies by, doesn’t it? It has been five years today since my mom passed away. I feel like I never will forget the day’s entirety. My mom had suffered cancer for many years on and off. I have no clue how she did it. I cannot imagine her pain and suffering as I am not her.

The Thursday just before Memorial Day my mom went in to see her oncologist. I went with her. We both knew inside that it was the last time. We even spoke about it. He admitted her for more tests and all the logistics he needed to do to see where he could go with a Stage 4 Lung Cancer patient. The next day Friday he said, “It is time for Hospice.” Mom knew that and yet he still needed to say that. She needed his formal statement basically. My daughter’s came…

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It’s Been Five Years

Wow! Time really flies by, doesn’t it? It has been five years today since my mom passed away. I feel like I never will forget the day’s entirety. My mom had suffered cancer for many years on and off. I have no clue how she did it. I cannot imagine her pain and suffering as I am not her.

The Thursday just before Memorial Day my mom went in to see her oncologist. I went with her. We both knew inside that it was the last time. We even spoke about it. He admitted her for more tests and all the logistics he needed to do to see where he could go with a Stage 4 Lung Cancer patient. The next day Friday he said, “It is time for Hospice.” Mom knew that and yet he still needed to say that. She needed his formal statement basically. My daughter’s came to the hospital after school that day. I told them what was happening. They were like, “Hasn’t Grandma been dying for years?” Well this was a bit more formal now. It was set in stone, time to plan the funeral per se. My mom said, “Discharge me now!” Of course she should be. What the heck are the meds going to do via IV fluids to help her. You see my mom suffered this cancer for many years. So mom came home that night. Within a week Hospice came and we began about 6 months of a new life.

She lived about 6 months with this horrendous disease that takes over your body. I worked home care jobs as a CNA so I could be around for my mom’s last moments. It helped me be there for the kids more to deal with this. She did not live her last 6 months sitting down. No sir! My mom was always a fighter but she deserved to live her last days “ALIVE”! She did what she could when she could. We had friends and family visit at times. Her last couple months of life you knew it was happening but it was hard to accept.

My mom’s last meal was Portillo’s ribs! Bless her heart, she tried her best to eat them. As time went on it was hard for mom to eat anything. My neighbor’s little girls across the street were such a blessing. I was so blessed for them to be there. I remember two days before she died, it was a Wednesday afternoon and Lucy was over making my mom laugh! It was so inspiring. She loved to hear her stories. She loved to talk with Maya, such an intelligent little girl my mom always said.

October 14, 2011 my daughter’s head off to school. Stephanie was a senior and Elizabeth was a sophomore. Dad said to me it doesn’t look good. The look in his eyes I will never forget. I have tears in my eyes right now feeling that exact moment in time. I will never understand how my dad went through this since I am not him. I told my mom, “I love you mommy.” And her last words to me were, “I love you.” Why I said mommy I never really understood until years later. I never had a mommy most my life. I was kidnapped at age 7 and recovered at age 15. And there I was at age 41 losing her.

The Hospice nurse came and said, “Anytime now.” She told me to call the school and get the girl’s home so they can spend their last moments with their Grandma. I know the nurse had a tear in her eye. How can you not have her job and not be affected? She and my mom had so many similarities. They would have a blast. They were the same age. I would join them and have a great time. We all needed it.

The Chaplain from Hospice came and said she will not make it through the night. I knew it inside my heart. My mom did not want to die in the dark at night. My mom’s best friends came over and family as soon as they could. My mom’s youngest brother drove his truck over, moments later she passed. Mom was waiting for him. My mom died at 5pm on October 14, 2011.

God knew what he was doing. You see my daughters were cheerleaders in high school. Normally they cheer on Friday night. How ironic that they ended up playing an away game on Saturday morning at a field that does not have lights? God always has a plan. Even though we hurt with this horrible loss. I was so sad and could not sleep. I felt my right toe, the big one getting touched the night she died when I was in bed. It was like her way of saying goodbye but looking and feeling healthy.

I will never forget that day as I will love my mom forever, no matter the fights we have had. But we always made up for those fights. I would go back and say, “You know mom you are right.” Or even she has admitted, “I was wrong, maybe we should do this.” Sometimes when we love someone we get all crazy and goofy and say things we do not mean. Why? I honestly do not know. We just want what is best for our loved ones. We just want our children to make the best decisions ever. Usually because in our past we have made poor choices.

October 14 will always be a day dedicated to my mom. Now she has my dad up in Heaven with her, her brother, and her mom. She went up to Heaven to see her daddy. The things God does for us. I don’t think my mom could have handled my Uncle’s sudden passing, along with my dad’s illness, and Grandma’s sudden illness. God planned this for her. Just like he did for Grandpa. I know easier said than done.

Every day is a gift and I am going to enjoy it!

 

My Own Sociology Project

Hello my blogger friends. I took a week long, “no internet”. It felt great to rejuvenate! I encourage everyone to try something like that. I did have to do a quick check for a scan to my email on Friday and check for a class on Monday but that was it. It gave me more time to work on my writing and my life. I just wanted to let you all know I am still here and going to catch up the best I can on all your blogs.

I also did another challenge this past month. No makeup or jewerly. I wanted to see reactions from friends, outsiders, stores and just people in general. Also being overweight and how the public perceives women. Professors and classmates treated me the same way as well as the cafeteria here at Waubonsee Community College. I am thankful for a school that is equal amoung us all. That respect is given to all individuals. This was my experience at school. I did go to the mall on Sunday with a friend and noticed that the world is somewhat changing for me. People who worked at the store were friendly to me. Even though I looked around at departments that were not my size. This was not my past experience being overweight, without makeup, jewerly, and just in jeans. I ended up getting compliments on my toop and jacket matching. I am totally grateful for my experience in this individual project of mine.

I know that I am who God created and I am grateful for that. I am happy to be on this earth and explore and learn things. Thank you for letting me share this past week off the internet and my month long of no makeup. Have a blessed day!

How Important Are Things To Us?

In life we are given “stuff”, know as “things”. They are a “keepsake”. But there can come a time, “Do they really matter in the end?” NO! You can’t take them with you to Heaven. People may put a special memento in your casket at the end but that’s going to be in the ground. I know that sounds morbid. I put a pink sponge in  my mom’s casket. She was a big cleaner and I thought it was funny but yet sentimental of who she was in the bitter end. Yes, I do freak out that stuff in the ground but let’s not go there, okay? So back to my thinking about “things/stuff”. I was taking a bath this morning and God put this upon my heart so I knew I had to write this.

There was a time in my life I became homeless. I was homeless for my bad choice in dating the wrong man, a con artist who I let control me. At this time I lived at my parent’s home. It was barely 5 months since my mom’s passing. Even with the truth in front of me I could not see that this con artist did what he did and continued to do so. He destroyed my family. In a way I allowed it by my own ignorance of depression and non-focus. I put him first over God and my two teenage daughters.  So dad said, “get out”. Of course the conversation was discussed differently but that is a round about way. So that night I became a homeless person on this earth. I always had “everything” when you look back at this. But I never had independence of myself. So I began a new life with the clothes on my back and a backpack filled with what I could take with me. Your choices at a time like that are very limited and so unsure of what the heck to do.

As time passed in my life I went on to do better things and a place to live. Actually I have moved twice. But I do miss some “keepsakes”. They were ornaments my kids made, or gifts that were made for me, or just special mementos from my mom. When I left the shelter I was hoping to receive my items back. However, it did not happen the way I expected it. It was a slice in the heart really. I was homeless and in a homeless shelter for about 15 months of my life, not bad considering what others go through. But I honestly hoped for was my special afghan my Great Aunt made me for my 18th Birthday back. It was silly things like that. A lamp I purchased, etc. It was okay at first, then the good ‘ole Holiday’s came through. That was rather hard, lonely, and feeling ashamed.

Time went on and the Christmas before my dad passed I knew something was not right. I received a Christmas present, pajamas. It had been tradition to get these in our family on Christmas Eve. It was the first ‘branch’ my dad gave me. I accepted of course. He passed away February of 2015. This is the step dad I called my dad all those years with my mom after my sister and I were found. I still have those jammie bottoms. I sometimes wore them in the summer months when I felt a need to feel closer to my family. I cherish them but there will be a time I have to let go. It is part of life. I actually thought that after he passed I would have been able to say goodbye but was not. I was not even able to go back to my home for so many years in Geneva with my kids and collect my belongings but was not allowed too. It hurt so much without seeing the things that meant so much to me to remind me of my mom, my dad, my kids growing up. Now with my grandma just passing away suddenly in August I have no pictures. My heart has been sad. Yes, in the past of my sins but also sadness that includes others sinful behavior of hate and claiming they love Christ as well. I needed to forgive them but I will have memories. I am not saying it is hard, trust me I struggle. I feel your pain and anguish. But know this, we are not alone in this world and those “things/stuff’ cannot come with us to Heaven.

Coming up I will share about “Homelessness”. It is not what everyone thinks it is. The media generally reports the crimes but not those who are struggling to make ends meet. Until next time, I will keep you all in my prayers as we “STAY STRONG”! I have been told whether it was with a job, a paper to write, or just anything in general, “LESS IS MORE!” It makes sense when we are not taking it all to Heaven in the end.