Missing, Have You Seen Me?

Today in the news we see a story about a missing boy found. I do remember this story. I could not imagine my child being taken away or lost out there. Well I was on the other end and did not know. I was a missing child and my mother was searching for my sister and I. We were a parental abduction.

As you can see above one of the many news articles from when my sister and I were recovered. Also that is one of the milk cartons that had our pictures on. It is so weird that we never saw ourselves on one in school.

This is my simple version of the story. Our parents were divorcing and it was not going well. One weekend our “dad” told us to pack extra clothes. I still remember this, I was 7 and my sister was 5. When we said our goodbyes I think my hug was extra special I just had that feeling as I look back. You can get that feeling but back in 1977 that was not enough to stake out and not allow visitation. I do remember awful arguments between my parents. He was at that time really weird at my 7 year old self. Now I would project him as a pedophile. That is not a good observation as someone looking in. I always felt creepy near him. These things I told my mom and whatever she observed her lawyer and local police knew. Nothing could be done. As a mother I cannot imagine her instincts being shut down and having to give your kids to this horrible man. Police were always involved when it came to visitation and upon our returns.

The day he took us we had no idea what was going on. All I remember is falling asleep in a moving truck with my little sister and waking up at a gas station. He was talking to someone. They seemed familiar but I cannot identify who it was. We woke up the next day in Miamisburg, Ohio. While eating breakfast he told us our mother has died and she was a drug addict and anyone with her last name, maiden name of course were bad people. I could not even be friends with someone with the same last name because they could be working together. Little did I know that summer my mom took him to the hospital and he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. It all made sense to me later in life. He even changed our last name. As children back in November 1977 at the ages of 5 and 7 it was very normal for us to just follow through with these rules and instructions. However, I was not believing anything about my mom. I remember crying about what he said and told never to cry or speak of her or her family again.

We did go to school and were very shy and naïve. We then traveled to Kettering, Ohio. He ended up taking us to New Britain and Hartford, Connecticut. We ended up back at the same place in Kettering, Ohio. That is what mostly represents our growing up and friendships.

How we were found is quite amazing in my eyes. John Walsh was having a movie about his son Adam who was kidnapped and murdered. He is a wonderful man, we met him once. He is always finding ways for safety. After the movie on NBC the show “Missing: Have You Seen This Person?” aired. They interviewed my mom, pictures of us when we went missing, picture of our “dad”. Then they used an artist named Scott Barrows who drew (yes, pencil and paper back then) what we would look like at that time. That time was 1985! Everyone called in our neighborhood and school. It was like they finally found what was missing for us. We were both searching for something as well. Our mom lost us at 5 and 7 we were recovered at 13 and 15. No one knew what to do back in 1985 in regards in mental health therapy.

I think today young people end up to meet others online that they do not know. They want to run away from their homes. We need to take care of our homes so we no longer lose our children. Unfortunately with any type of kidnapping abuse is possible and there must be therapy for that person. No one should ever suffer from this. Here is a great resource for you about missing children. It is The National Center For Missing and Exploited Children. http://www.missingkids.org/




Thank You Readers

I wanted to thank all my readers for letting me reach out and share this month about Kidney Disease Awareness. I know we have awareness about so many things year round. I love to learn and hear about it all. I wish I could donate to all, even to those that apply to my life. I am sure we all want to help. But I find it helpful to be aware of what is going on. It is a way we can help or share information.

I look forward to learning more from my readers monthly and sharing with you as well.

Kidney Awareness Month

March is Kidney Disease Awareness Month. This means so much to me; mainly because in October 2017 I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease. No signs or symptoms hit me right out. I was fatigued and had my nausea but that could have been due to my medications at the time. No I did not have diabetes or heart issues. Those are the two common threads connecting with CDK. I did a random blood screening and found out by that. I was shocked. It took until January 2018 to figure out what caused this disease. My GFR was at 15%, that is the percentage of my kidney levels. I find that very scary I was wondering around in life with that low of the usage of my kidneys. I was not set up to go on dialysis at all. The Nephrologist I had at that time wanted me to wait. I went in for biopsies. He took three tiny pieces from my left kidney. I was hospitalized for a couple days. My pain pain increased post biopsy. That is not normal for me and was sent home. I spent the next two days decreasing energy and color along with severe pain. I went in to the ER where I lived and ended up back in the hospital for about a week. I had internal bleeding and was at End Stage Kidney Disease. Still no dialysis. My GFR went back to 15%. From that ER admit my health declined due to my CKD. Unfortunately with this disease these things happen. I found out in the hospital that my biopsies had shown Chronic Interstitial Nephritis. At least I knew it was from my new prescription I had been taking about 8-9 months which was the”main” cause of this. I still had no clue what to expect.

I always knew life was short and to enjoy the quality of life. I have taken care of my mom on Hospice and worked in the hospitals before, so I comprehend life. While in the hospital my anemia was bad, never cured and still not. I do my best but I stay stable with this disease. That is the best you can do. No sad thoughts, nothing negative, look for the good. I have learned to accept what happens in life and just be a big girl and deal with it. I have issues with depression and anxiety but I am at the stage of managing it in my life. I go to a therapist and see a psychiatrist. I follow up with my primary physician as well as my Nephrologist. I am trying to find one that is not 3 hours away from me. But if I do not do what I need for me, what’s the point? God created me in His own image. He wanted me on this Earth for something so why not do something good with and care for my body as well. Stuff happens and I no longer want to be a people pleaser and I know I cannot fix everything. Yes I wish I could fix when my girls struggle or are hurt. I wish I could have taken away my sister’s breast cancer and her radiation. I’m grateful her cancer was found early and not that long for her radiation treatment. But she still had to hear those words. Those words she heard I cannot take away. I never want that for anyone, especially in my family. Then I think about the bills, ugh insurance does not cover it all. I’m broke without an income and would love to just give her money for all the wonderful things she has done for me and my daughter’s and grandson.

So I need to care for my kidney disease or I cannot help or be there for anyone. I will not get to see my girl’s do more in their lives, my grandson grow up or more grandkids hopefully. 🤗 And I will not get to hear my sister say she is fine with that radiation! These are things I want to be here for.

So if you are out there and have any chronic illness know that you are not the only one. There are ways and groups to get involved in. You can connect with others so you have support. Find a way to survive.

For more information about kidney disease please go to www.kidney.org. You can also check out www.kidneyschool.org. Both sites have valuable information. As well as www.davita.com and more information about becoming a donor please check out organdonor.gov.