Rainy Day

Today is a rainy day but I am finding the beauty in the day. How about you? The rain helps things grow. I know the grass grows and you gotta mow it yet again! 😮 I find the rain rather peaceful inside my heart. That is something I need. I have dealt with depression and anxiety so I look for things to help assist me. Yes I use many oils to help with that. More to follow on which oils help!! But let us focus on how to find peace on a rainy day. We are stuck inside right now. So I am enjoying organizing some things, still need to work on more. 🤭 I have been reading books and will share about them on here as well. I really think we can enjoy a rainy day inside. It is hard at first but I know you can come up with good ideas, like binge watch on Netflix. 😜

Share with me your ideas what you do on a rainy day inside.

Kathy ❤️

Summer Adventures

I have been busy enjoying life to its fullest this summer! Whether you have money or not there are many ways you can do this. To me it begins with you inside your soul knowing who you are. Learn to love yourself. Work on what you do not like, if it truly needs fixing, see a therapist if some help is needed and/or speak with your primary physician if need be. Why not live life as it is short and you never know what can happen tomorrow.

Here is what has been blessed upon me and mine. I have had the chance to go back to college and in the nursing field. I start August 22nd for nursing school. I am so happy to finally be able to finish this dream in my life! I had to take care of some mental health issues along with physical health issues. I am stable on both ends. I follow up with my physicians and worked hard to get where I am. I even began to work again, part time in assisted living. It is just right for me. I even was blessed with a car from my pastor. What are the chances?

I prayed God you put it in front of me. You help me with my anxiety, depression, Bipolar, and PTSD. He did. I prayed help me with my Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease and I am stable with 20% kidney usuage. Scary at that amount but great compared to where I started nearly two years when diagnosed. I may not be in “perfect” health but what is the picture of health today? I feel that I am doing fabulous!

Don’t get me wrong that I still get fatigued, I am w working two nights a week and one evening shift. I do have a chronic illness with no cure and it takes a toll on me but I am managing it and found a way too.

So I decided to live life by doing what I like, get back to working in the health care field. It is where I was at my best. It is what I know and I enjoy the people.

I also decided to live life by getting outside by walking downtown in Galena. Attending church frequently, hard on the night shifts I work the night before. But I’m managing as I can listen to the service online.

David and I have been going to the lake this summer enjoying the boat, the pool, swimming and relaxing.

Look for ways to enjoy your blessings in life. Find ways to do things without the cost so high. This can be year-round. The pictures below are from where we go in Apple River, Illinois called Apple Canyon Lake.

Kidney Awareness Month

March is Kidney Disease Awareness Month. This means so much to me; mainly because in October 2017 I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease. No signs or symptoms hit me right out. I was fatigued and had my nausea but that could have been due to my medications at the time. No I did not have diabetes or heart issues. Those are the two common threads connecting with CDK. I did a random blood screening and found out by that. I was shocked. It took until January 2018 to figure out what caused this disease. My GFR was at 15%, that is the percentage of my kidney levels. I find that very scary I was wondering around in life with that low of the usage of my kidneys. I was not set up to go on dialysis at all. The Nephrologist I had at that time wanted me to wait. I went in for biopsies. He took three tiny pieces from my left kidney. I was hospitalized for a couple days. My pain pain increased post biopsy. That is not normal for me and was sent home. I spent the next two days decreasing energy and color along with severe pain. I went in to the ER where I lived and ended up back in the hospital for about a week. I had internal bleeding and was at End Stage Kidney Disease. Still no dialysis. My GFR went back to 15%. From that ER admit my health declined due to my CKD. Unfortunately with this disease these things happen. I found out in the hospital that my biopsies had shown Chronic Interstitial Nephritis. At least I knew it was from my new prescription I had been taking about 8-9 months which was the”main” cause of this. I still had no clue what to expect.

I always knew life was short and to enjoy the quality of life. I have taken care of my mom on Hospice and worked in the hospitals before, so I comprehend life. While in the hospital my anemia was bad, never cured and still not. I do my best but I stay stable with this disease. That is the best you can do. No sad thoughts, nothing negative, look for the good. I have learned to accept what happens in life and just be a big girl and deal with it. I have issues with depression and anxiety but I am at the stage of managing it in my life. I go to a therapist and see a psychiatrist. I follow up with my primary physician as well as my Nephrologist. I am trying to find one that is not 3 hours away from me. But if I do not do what I need for me, what’s the point? God created me in His own image. He wanted me on this Earth for something so why not do something good with and care for my body as well. Stuff happens and I no longer want to be a people pleaser and I know I cannot fix everything. Yes I wish I could fix when my girls struggle or are hurt. I wish I could have taken away my sister’s breast cancer and her radiation. I’m grateful her cancer was found early and not that long for her radiation treatment. But she still had to hear those words. Those words she heard I cannot take away. I never want that for anyone, especially in my family. Then I think about the bills, ugh insurance does not cover it all. I’m broke without an income and would love to just give her money for all the wonderful things she has done for me and my daughter’s and grandson.

So I need to care for my kidney disease or I cannot help or be there for anyone. I will not get to see my girl’s do more in their lives, my grandson grow up or more grandkids hopefully. 🤗 And I will not get to hear my sister say she is fine with that radiation! These are things I want to be here for.

So if you are out there and have any chronic illness know that you are not the only one. There are ways and groups to get involved in. You can connect with others so you have support. Find a way to survive.

For more information about kidney disease please go to www.kidney.org. You can also check out www.kidneyschool.org. Both sites have valuable information. As well as www.davita.com and more information about becoming a donor please check out organdonor.gov.

Hidden Secrets

We all have or have known someone who has struggled with a hidden secret. Secrets can be dark, they can be as little as a present or surprise party. There is a time when some secrets need to come out of your locked box to help you for the good.

I am a woman who was a child of abuse, including sexual abuse. I have also been raped and sexually assaulted in my lifetime. I am currently 49 years old and I would never wish this on anyone. I know there is worse out there. I was a victim and continued to be a victim for years. I finally got help and became a survivor of sexual abuse.

What I am not saying is to go on television and announce that this happened. You do not have to. But you do need to deal with it. PTSD has been a part of my entire life. And quite frankly I am sick of it. When we hold things back our memories stay hidden but the triggers get worse. Yes you can still have triggers after and while going through therapy. While going through your therapy you learn how to cope with the triggers. It will not be easy at times but it will help.

Secrets can also destroy families. Hidden secrets of dishonesty and disloyalty. Those are also heart breaking. When hearing of a spousal’s affair or if your child is pregnant and aborted the baby without telling you. You get the gist of familial secrecy. It can be hard to repair but through therapy some things can be bestowed for them.

Work secrets can cause tension and brew up tension in other areas. Thus begins rumors. Again be cautious on keeping secrets at work if you know information that is highly unethical, immoral, and if it can cost you your job. Those kind of secrets can turn into rumors which will likely turn back on you. Be careful to not be placed in that situation when someone at work puts you in that situation. Is it really worth losing your job for?

Hidden secrets can be found anywhere. Please never hide the urgency of abuse, rape, domestic violence, pregnancy. Decisions need to be made, doctor appointments, treatment and whatever else need be. Families have much to discuss and plan what to do next. No matter the age your child is affected. Most importantly is to not let your secrets turn into rumors at your workplace, neighborhood, school, church and social media. Bullying can be added to the stress for the person dealing with what they are going through.

Please go to a school counselor, pastor at your church, therapist, parent, someone trust worthy that is not a known gossip, or just go to God in prayer to begin your journey.

The good kind of secret, I prefer to call it a “hidden surprise” is for a birthday, anniversary, wedding, surprise party. Now those are fun and you do not blab about presents bought for someone. It is a joyful experience to watch the person you bought a gift for smile with excitement when they open your gift.

Have a wonderful Sunday afternoon all!

Peace and Love,

Kathy ❤️

Love One Another ❤️

It just seems lately that there is not much love around. People seem to want to spread hate, judgement, anger, anything of negative energy. That just seems exhausting to me. That would just deflect a person in my eyes. How exhausting to always think you are right, perfect, judge all around you and not take responsibly at all for your mishaps in life?! 🤔

Exactly! 💡 Light bulb shines brightly doesn’t it? As close to the sun it can. 🌞

Here is how I look at it, God loved me before I was ever a twinkle in anyone’s eyes. Same with you. We were all created to be a part of this Earth for a special reason, to be loved is one and to give love is another. I believe that God loves everyone.

He loves ALL!

It does not matter who you are, your race, your income, your education, your sexual preference, nothing. Jesus sat with prostitutes and those ill. He caught nothing. There is no fear so grow up! Jesus spent time on this Earth performing miracles. He spent time-sharing the love. He wanted you to know that you are loved.

None of this violence at facilities as it defeats the purpose. We all need to stand up for things do not get me wrong but shall we do it in a way that does not portray our one and mighty Lord.

We need to learn to speak with love. There is also a time and a place for everything as well.

I say we need to stop letting the agenda of the media get into our heads. Not let the world control our thoughts or images. Control what we watch on television and have a watchful eye with our social media accounts. I would recommend that with your children and please continue it with opening up those conversations. We learn to judge, hate, bully, well just about anything from our parents, older siblings and our surroundings. This needs to stop.

It seems easy to blame others yes I get that but we need to be accountable for our actions. I know I was not the nicest person in this life. I really regret it. So it is time to give back. Remember that saying, “treat others the way you want to be treated”. Seriously think about that.

Saying I love you needs to be said but does need to be showed as well. Words to live by my friends.

Peace and Love,

Kathy ❤️

Reaching Out

This afternoon after church I have been busy. I have been researching how to “reach out” on my blog. I have been doing this over a couple years and of course still a new blogger. This past week I came back here with so much new information it is unbelievable.

Blogging had helped me personally to share my life of lessons learned all there is going on out there. It has been fabulous to learn from ALL of you! I know there is so much more for me to do.

My friend who got me into WordPress has been a blessing in my life. It is amazing to connect with someone after so many years and still know them. Even though she was younger than me she was a mature girl and a wise Christian woman. I have used their story of dating and serving the Lord to others. It helps me share with others in a time of questions.

This is what sharing our stories are about, advice, recipes. Whatever there is we continue to learn.

Music was something that, rather is that God gives each of us. To my dear friends Ray and Jenna I am grateful for the gift God gave me through you. The worship of God’s love in music was so emotional to me. I felt God’s love.

With my daughter’s growing up it was important for me to share that with them and I did. They were taught. We may not be all on the same page now, my girls and I with our beliefs but I am mature enough in my relationship with Christ now to deal with it. God puts people in our lives for a reason and He did that for me now. When I see things I can tell immaturity or anything else in life. Growing with Christ is the best thing for me. I am truly grateful for this blogging site and will take all the tools I have learned today and this past week to heart. 🥰🥰

My Prayers For Aurora, Illinois

Yesterday a man at his workplace was, as they say “disgruntled”. He worked at his company for 15 years and was fired that day. Unfortunately he had a history that no one was aware of. He had a gun illegally. Yes I do wish laws were excellent all over so responsible people know how to use them. As in such, trained police officers, our military, people who hunt, etc.

People have free will on this Earth and we make our own choices. God gives us that. However, anyone can get a gun illegally. What we need to stop is people getting the guns illegally as well as when a F.O.I.D. card is suspended we need to find a way to get those guns. I do not know the numbers of people turning their guns in. This is no excuse for what this man did.

He killed 5 employees there. One was injured. I believe 6 police officers were injured. Aurora Police Department were right on top of it. They did what they signed up to do. The FBI helped. There were SWAT teams helping. It makes me proud of how Kane County got together. I was pleased to see our new Govenor make it up there. This showed how we all get together, in Illinois.

I moved away from the Kane County area in July but I still keep in touch with my friends out there. I was watching it from the moment I got the ABC 7 Chicago News Alert. It was to me just so close to home.

I cannot fathom what anyone there was feeling. My heart goes out to all of them. I do hope and pray for everyone, from those suffering to those first responders. How amazing to have all those ambulances there to help. We have a great state with a great group of first responders we need to respect and appreciate.

All I am is just grateful. And my prayers go out to our community in my state of Illinois. Yes it gets cold, snows, and icy but overall we can pick up the pieces together.

God Bless Everyone!

Coffeeless

This morning that is exactly how I feel, coffeeless. I just made this word up. I was in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee. I was walking out of my kitchen with an empty juice glass. Yep I needed to wake up a bit more this morning.

I really needed my coffee this morning. Well, technically need and want are two different words. And I am a true coffee girl! We all have our special likes and needs in this world.

Right now David and I are doing these “diets”. I just do not care for the way that word had been used in my lowly 49 years of life. “A diet” should be something we need to eat in order to nurish our bodies. We need to nurish our bodies to survive and live in a healthy way. I looked up the word diet on Google. This is what I found:

Well, there it is the restrictions, etc. But sometimes with your health you need to do that. The word diet in this search is a noun and verb. I find this interesting. I would love to hear from my readers as what you think about the word “diet”. I am up to learning something new everyday.

My diet consists of a renal diet. I do this because I have Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease. I also choose to do this because:

1. Nephrologist just says just watch your sodium intake and protein.

2. I personally feel I need to do more for my CKD with my research.

3. I spoke with my PCP, he is an internist and 5 minutes from me, he is pleased I want to take action.

4. Let’s do this meal plan for you and to help you have quality of life for your stage in CKD.

So I feel that since I have had this disease (15 months now) I speak up even more for myself. I have no problem following the guidelines for a renal diet. I just really want my coffee to wake me up!!

Oh I know with health issues we may need to eat less of something, etc. I want a good quality of life with my family, no doubt. Things can be enjoyed with moderation, I get that. But I feel we should also enjoy our lives.

So no more making me coffeeless and on a tangent of nothingness again. Hope you all have a great day! Please tell me what you think about diets and if there something you need or want to get started for your day. I do have more things to get my day going but I was stomped with this coffeeless feeling. I hope you are all smiling and laughing! 🤪🤪

You Are Possible

We need to remind ourselves that we are possible to do and complete things in life. It may take time but you can manage it. I promise you. I hope and pray that you have someone to connect with in life, whether it be family and friends. Life is too short to not try. I know that we all struggle with many things, trust me, I have a list so big you will never finish reading it.

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These are the tools we use to express ourselves and put in important information.

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No matter what you are going through, you have some way to express it. You do not need to go out and buy a fancy journal. Start out with a writing utensil and paper. You can talk through your writing.

HAVE A PEACEFUL AND BLESSED WEEKEND!!

Mom

I have struggled for years about my mother’s love to me. Even when she was alive. She passed away in October 2011. I have made so many mistakes the amount is infinity times infinity. I love my daughter’s unconditionally. How could I not? To me, they are amazing children who grew up to be wonderful young adults.

Now back to my  mom, I made so many mistakes. It still hurts me for doing that. When my mom went on Hospice I felt the need to be there at home with her. I could not imagine what both my parent’s were thinking. You do for love unconditionally.

I know I need to move on about my fear and anxiety in regards to my mom. I have been going through therapy for years!

My message to you is this: ENJOY! Just enjoy your life. Accept your differences of your parent’s and children as well. It is time to respect not just our parent’s but our children as well. If we are not having these conversations in our families and home-life’s, it shall suffer. 

I have issues with not getting out of my home and many a bad relationship. That does not help me blossom in life. It digresses me every time I go through more trauma and traumatic events. If I did not have so many triggers in my life, no more PTSD either. Again my choices lead me to this. But sometimes life just throws you a lemon and things do not always go the way you want. 

Life is not perfect but please enjoy your time with family. No more grudges. Do not say you are a Christian and cannot forgive someone. There are lost sheep all over the world. Only God can judge us, so no more judging a person’s mistakes, troubles, behavior, race, religious belief, sexual orientation, etc. I see Jesus making friends/contacts/connections with people this day and age on earth sharing the gospel and loving each person unconditionally. How about you?