My Broken Heart

It was an early morning by myself, I was studying my Human Biology book. I had taken my early morning med and had some yogurt. It came on all of a sudden about 5:30 am. I thought, could I have heartburn from that? It could happen from swallowing the medicine, it has happened to other people before. I knew I was tired as I worked overnight on Tuesday night. I had classes all day Tuesday and Wednesday and barley any sleep on Tuesday before work as I have a late afternoon class on Tuesday’s. Here I am up early on Thursday morning February 13th studying for a test next week and I do not need to be at school until later this afternoon. Could this be anxiety? I know better than this as I have been in the medical field and studying to be a nurse. I generally tell people call 911 immediately. I felt such a heaviness upon my chest like an elephant upon me. By 5:50 am I decided to leave the house. I figured with my unsteady breathing and horrific pain they will say it is nothing. It was extreme cold that morning and I could not open the driver’s side door. So I went to the passenger’s side door and dialed 911. From there my life became a series of events I will never forget.

I knew right then and there I was right that at 5:30 am I was having a heart attack. But it gave me anxiety as well. The police officer came to me in the car and said the ambulance would be arriving any minute and was calming me like the 911 operator. I was grateful for the ambulance to come, which felt like an eternity. Mainly because I was having a heart attack. Two, it was really low temps out. I chewed the aspirin and we head to the local ER but they asked if I wanted to go to the hospital in Iowa, as we are 20 minutes away from Iowa. My insurance is only for Illinois and I get to the hospital in town. They ran a battery of tests and offer meds and make sure it is not indigestion. My levels continue to go up. But here’s the thing I need to be transferred to a cardiac hospital. Nearest hospital with my insurance is an hour and a half away. So add that to my nerves, my anxiety goes up but not my blood pressure. I know to be calm in a situation. I was told I do not look like the typical heart attack patient.

Finally a couple hours later, yes at least a couple hours later I get transferred to another hospital in Rockford. We had to hold off to do my angiogram until the next morning. Girl who had heart attack at 50 with anxiety issues, thanks! Family sitting back being worried. I just wanted to go home but knew I was better there. So finally I was able to eat, so I ate good, haha! My oldest daughter is an ICU nurse in Iowa and works in their cardiac care unit, she worked night shift, so she kept up to date with the care while I was there that first night. This was just day one of my life changing.

The ironic thing in this story is that on Valentine’s Day February 14th I had my angiogram, they looked at my heart. My heart attack was caused by SCAD, Spontaneous Coronary Artery Dissection. I was blessed and do I ever mean blessed with no stents. I was in the hospital a few days and then back the next day after being discharged due to heaviness again. But no heart attack, just high levels but not high enough. They changed my meds and observed me for a few days. Both times being transferred in the ambulance was long and bumpy and wish it on no one ever!

I decided to join a support group for SCAD on Facebook and with the COVID-19 my Cardiac Rehab is postponed right now. I feel tired and try to do things but am fearful of germs. I felt like that with my already diagnosis of Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease anyway. This has slowed me down and that I would say has happened for a reason. I still have a long way to go. I still have tests to do for my diagnosis of SCAD. So off to another adventure in my life.


Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

Summer Adventures

I have been busy enjoying life to its fullest this summer! Whether you have money or not there are many ways you can do this. To me it begins with you inside your soul knowing who you are. Learn to love yourself. Work on what you do not like, if it truly needs fixing, see a therapist if some help is needed and/or speak with your primary physician if need be. Why not live life as it is short and you never know what can happen tomorrow.

Here is what has been blessed upon me and mine. I have had the chance to go back to college and in the nursing field. I start August 22nd for nursing school. I am so happy to finally be able to finish this dream in my life! I had to take care of some mental health issues along with physical health issues. I am stable on both ends. I follow up with my physicians and worked hard to get where I am. I even began to work again, part time in assisted living. It is just right for me. I even was blessed with a car from my pastor. What are the chances?

I prayed God you put it in front of me. You help me with my anxiety, depression, Bipolar, and PTSD. He did. I prayed help me with my Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease and I am stable with 20% kidney usuage. Scary at that amount but great compared to where I started nearly two years when diagnosed. I may not be in “perfect” health but what is the picture of health today? I feel that I am doing fabulous!

Don’t get me wrong that I still get fatigued, I am w working two nights a week and one evening shift. I do have a chronic illness with no cure and it takes a toll on me but I am managing it and found a way too.

So I decided to live life by doing what I like, get back to working in the health care field. It is where I was at my best. It is what I know and I enjoy the people.

I also decided to live life by getting outside by walking downtown in Galena. Attending church frequently, hard on the night shifts I work the night before. But I’m managing as I can listen to the service online.

David and I have been going to the lake this summer enjoying the boat, the pool, swimming and relaxing.

Look for ways to enjoy your blessings in life. Find ways to do things without the cost so high. This can be year-round. The pictures below are from where we go in Apple River, Illinois called Apple Canyon Lake.

Keep Moving Your Body

Please note that I began this blog post about two weeks ago. I did not get to finish it on time due to my painful right wrist and elbow. I have been in therapy for that. I have also broke my eyeglasses. I was just sitting down and they fell off my face. I am wearing old ones without the bifocals. They are rather frustrating with reading and writing. My wrist and elbow are doing better and still doing therapy, the focus is now strengthening them. I had an injury in July of 2018 and never followed through. Lesson learned.

Last week I blogged about an app I started using called “5 Minute Workouts”. I am really enjoying it. I can feel it working on my body no doubt. I have included a picture of the app when I open it up. This way you know what I was talking about last week and today.

I have done the Fat Loss, Abs, Chest & Arms. I can feel it working. I am also on a healthy diet along with low calorie meals. My diet consists of low sodium for example. That helps me nor feel so bloated and with my Chronic Kidney Disease it is wise to not have much sodium. I also need to watch my protein choices, such as red meat. There are other ways to get protein and in small ounces and better choices. I will always say and agree with this, water, water, water! It cleans you out, yes you need to empty that bladder but it helps with your skin and nails. It makes you feel cleaner in the long run.

I will add to this post that the “free” part of the 5 Minute Workout is just the 2 days. But you can keep sing those again. You can continue to mark have many reps you have done. Due to my recent pain in my elbow and neck I have had to change up my workout. There are times you need to do that. My app even reminded me to do my work out.  I feel this app is helpful to get yourself moving around and to use on your phone if you want to get your body moving. As always with any diet and exercise program please check with your physicians due to any physical and health limitations. I have had some neck pain from sleeping on a bad mattress so I was not doing my crunches right with pulling up in regards to my neck. So I need to pay attention and make changes just like anyone else in any program. This can happen with anyone in any workout and diet. If you have any apps you feel are great for workouts and diets, please share them in the comments. Have a great week! 

Wanna Get Moving?

I know it is hard sometimes to set a designated time to workout. Even with those fighting any health issue. So I found an app for a 5 minute workout and started it out today. I did not sign up for the Premium as I want to see my results but after my 5 minute Fat Loss Workout I felt myself moving my heartrate and it made me feel FANTASTIC!

The app I downloaded is called 5 Minute Home Workout. I found it from the Apple Store. I also have it on my Windows Laptop. This way I can do this workout anywhere at anytime. You can do Fat Loss, Abs, Butt & Legs, Chest & Arms, Pilates, Yoga. There is also a Multi workout. I like the idea of starting out with a 5 minute and then if possible gradually add on to your workout. Or you can start it out that way. This is an easy way to bring your workout with you. For me so far so good. I will keep you updated. I do like how you count how many crunches you do so you can see how far you have gone. I would look into it.

Do any of you use a simple workout to get your body going? Please share below so we can encourage one another.




I have been beginning to question why this is happening to me. Why I am the one with this struggle lately? What am I to learn? I feel like a whiny baby Crying face and grumpy Baring teeth smile garbage lettuce. I need to get my priorities straight!!  Fingers crossed

I have suffered migraines most of my life along with these focal seizures. There are times I have a headache coming on and it goes to a full blown out migraine. I then sometimes go off in to this “lala land”. Meaning I am spacing out and focalized on nothing but what is right in front of me. If I am on the computer, reading a book, in a class, at church, or driving. This is NOT good at all! It is unsafe for me as well as others around me. I have had many falls in regards to this over the last few years. 2014 I had 5-6 concussions, 2015 I had 2 concussions which included a bad accident with injury, and 2016 I had two falls with NO head injuries!! But one did include a seizure immediately following. My memory was so bad I did not recall my College Algebra for an exam and failed it. I have been a busy visitor to the doctor, neurologist, labs, testing, and you name it in regards to this over many years. I have taken many different medications and tried many home remedies. Recently I finally went to my Internist and she ordered the longest MRI for my brain. YES, something is in there! I have had a cyst for many years on my left temporal lope. What was finally identified was the name and what it is causing on my left temporal lope. It is called arachnoid cyst and with that knowledge we looked it up via National Institute for Health.

I found their site rather informing and believable. I said to myself, “It all makes sense now.” I have been fighting these signs and symptoms for many years! So, finally a diagnosis as to what is causing the interruption to my daily life. Now to figure out how to manage this pain and discomfort better. I do hope and pray that someone listens to me for once about this unusual disruption to my life and HELP me figure this out. I feel as though I have been climbing a mountain for many years and will never see the top. I do not need the devil’s discouragement I need God’s love and understanding and that’s what I have. Red heartRed heart

I just want this to work out so I am truly grateful and blessed to get an appointment with Rush University on December 29th. I need to learn once again this thing called, patience. I do realize and know that there are so many others out there worse than myself. I just need to put my life back into perspective and sometimes writing it out helps me.

I would like to thank all of you who have liked my blogs and my page as well. Thank you for your blogs to help me in my life’s journey.