In life we are given “stuff”, know as “things”. They are a “keepsake”. But there can come a time, “Do they really matter in the end?” NO! You can’t take them with you to Heaven. People may put a special memento in your casket at the end but that’s going to be in the ground. I know that sounds morbid. I put a pink sponge in my mom’s casket. She was a big cleaner and I thought it was funny but yet sentimental of who she was in the bitter end. Yes, I do freak out that stuff in the ground but let’s not go there, okay? So back to my thinking about “things/stuff”. I was taking a bath this morning and God put this upon my heart so I knew I had to write this.
There was a time in my life I became homeless. I was homeless for my bad choice in dating the wrong man, a con artist who I let control me. At this time I lived at my parent’s home. It was barely 5 months since my mom’s passing. Even with the truth in front of me I could not see that this con artist did what he did and continued to do so. He destroyed my family. In a way I allowed it by my own ignorance of depression and non-focus. I put him first over God and my two teenage daughters. So dad said, “get out”. Of course the conversation was discussed differently but that is a round about way. So that night I became a homeless person on this earth. I always had “everything” when you look back at this. But I never had independence of myself. So I began a new life with the clothes on my back and a backpack filled with what I could take with me. Your choices at a time like that are very limited and so unsure of what the heck to do.
As time passed in my life I went on to do better things and a place to live. Actually I have moved twice. But I do miss some “keepsakes”. They were ornaments my kids made, or gifts that were made for me, or just special mementos from my mom. When I left the shelter I was hoping to receive my items back. However, it did not happen the way I expected it. It was a slice in the heart really. I was homeless and in a homeless shelter for about 15 months of my life, not bad considering what others go through. But I honestly hoped for was my special afghan my Great Aunt made me for my 18th Birthday back. It was silly things like that. A lamp I purchased, etc. It was okay at first, then the good ‘ole Holiday’s came through. That was rather hard, lonely, and feeling ashamed.
Time went on and the Christmas before my dad passed I knew something was not right. I received a Christmas present, pajamas. It had been tradition to get these in our family on Christmas Eve. It was the first ‘branch’ my dad gave me. I accepted of course. He passed away February of 2015. This is the step dad I called my dad all those years with my mom after my sister and I were found. I still have those jammie bottoms. I sometimes wore them in the summer months when I felt a need to feel closer to my family. I cherish them but there will be a time I have to let go. It is part of life. I actually thought that after he passed I would have been able to say goodbye but was not. I was not even able to go back to my home for so many years in Geneva with my kids and collect my belongings but was not allowed too. It hurt so much without seeing the things that meant so much to me to remind me of my mom, my dad, my kids growing up. Now with my grandma just passing away suddenly in August I have no pictures. My heart has been sad. Yes, in the past of my sins but also sadness that includes others sinful behavior of hate and claiming they love Christ as well. I needed to forgive them but I will have memories. I am not saying it is hard, trust me I struggle. I feel your pain and anguish. But know this, we are not alone in this world and those “things/stuff’ cannot come with us to Heaven.
Coming up I will share about “Homelessness”. It is not what everyone thinks it is. The media generally reports the crimes but not those who are struggling to make ends meet. Until next time, I will keep you all in my prayers as we “STAY STRONG”! I have been told whether it was with a job, a paper to write, or just anything in general, “LESS IS MORE!” It makes sense when we are not taking it all to Heaven in the end.