Well said for those who have been in abused an neglected households. I do know that every situation was and is different. As I have written before I was a child of a parental kidnapping. I knew there was something off but life was not easy for my sister and I. He had us in hiding and even though we went to school we were basically sheltered. I remember going to a Day Care Center, I believe in Kettering, Ohio and they were asking us about all the bruises on us. He tried to cover up but we got hurt for that at home. Next thing you know we moved away to Connecticut for a while so things cooled over. Eventually we were back in Kettering, Ohio and I thought if I complain to my teachers about my home but that did not work out as planned. My sister was the one who said nothing and I was the one who wanted to fight for my rights. We were both abused physically, mentally, socially, and sexually. But back when I was abused the law was different and only so much can be done. As for today with abused and neglected children, there is that stigmatism depending where you live, your religion, or race. The only select few get away with such horrible crimes due to their pocketbooks from what I have seen. Yes, people of all income types can abuse children and neglect them. Never being home and raising your children can have an affect on them. I understand working because many do just to get by but constant traveling and rarely seeing your children, not attending ANY events is a concern. Neglect comes in many ways. Abuse and neglect happens unfortunately and just thinking oh someone must know, they probably do not. Please be aware of how to approach the topic as you want to get any predator in any sexual assault crime. I hope to get a chance soon to read the book in the article I have linked below.
We all have or have known someone who has struggled with a hidden secret. Secrets can be dark, they can be as little as a present or surprise party. There is a time when some secrets need to come out of your locked box to help you for the good.
I am a woman who was a child of abuse, including sexual abuse. I have also been raped and sexually assaulted in my lifetime. I am currently 49 years old and I would never wish this on anyone. I know there is worse out there. I was a victim and continued to be a victim for years. I finally got help and became a survivor of sexual abuse.
What I am not saying is to go on television and announce that this happened. You do not have to. But you do need to deal with it. PTSD has been a part of my entire life. And quite frankly I am sick of it. When we hold things back our memories stay hidden but the triggers get worse. Yes you can still have triggers after and while going through therapy. While going through your therapy you learn how to cope with the triggers. It will not be easy at times but it will help.
Secrets can also destroy families. Hidden secrets of dishonesty and disloyalty. Those are also heart breaking. When hearing of a spousal’s affair or if your child is pregnant and aborted the baby without telling you. You get the gist of familial secrecy. It can be hard to repair but through therapy some things can be bestowed for them.
Work secrets can cause tension and brew up tension in other areas. Thus begins rumors. Again be cautious on keeping secrets at work if you know information that is highly unethical, immoral, and if it can cost you your job. Those kind of secrets can turn into rumors which will likely turn back on you. Be careful to not be placed in that situation when someone at work puts you in that situation. Is it really worth losing your job for?
Hidden secrets can be found anywhere. Please never hide the urgency of abuse, rape, domestic violence, pregnancy. Decisions need to be made, doctor appointments, treatment and whatever else need be. Families have much to discuss and plan what to do next. No matter the age your child is affected. Most importantly is to not let your secrets turn into rumors at your workplace, neighborhood, school, church and social media. Bullying can be added to the stress for the person dealing with what they are going through.
Please go to a school counselor, pastor at your church, therapist, parent, someone trust worthy that is not a known gossip, or just go to God in prayer to begin your journey.
The good kind of secret, I prefer to call it a “hidden surprise” is for a birthday, anniversary, wedding, surprise party. Now those are fun and you do not blab about presents bought for someone. It is a joyful experience to watch the person you bought a gift for smile with excitement when they open your gift.
Have a wonderful Sunday afternoon all!
Peace and Love,